


And She's Burning Up Like Cheap Cocaine

by MissMeggie



Series: She's Burning Series [2]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Biospecialist - Freeform, F/M, Gen, Season/Series 01, Season/Series 02
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-23
Updated: 2015-01-15
Packaged: 2018-03-03 00:26:45
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2831471
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissMeggie/pseuds/MissMeggie
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There is absolutely nothing simple about Jemma Simmons. For the first time in his life Grant Ward has to work for the affections of the one he wants. The harder he tries the faster he falls. In the dictionary next to the word complication is Jemma's face he's sure of it. She's Burning Series: Part II *FULL CAST**</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

[](http://imgur.com/CSbXvPP)

AN: Just this first chapter is pre-series! Read on please.

-/-/-

Grant can't shake her or the feel of that kiss no matter how real or fictionalized it was or wasn't in reality it sure as fuck felt real and he liked it maybe a bit too much. She's gotten under his skin and he can't have that attachment is a weakness he cannot afford. Maybe it's physical or chemical attraction like she had said that night in the darkness of the car. If he could just get her out of his system he'd be all set.

So he strides into the lab on a mission.

"Hey Jem…" He said and Fitz stared at him oddly. "I mean Simmons, next day off I'm taking you on a private field exercise wear a long horns t-shirt." He commanded in his typical. I am Grant Ward you will fall to my charms because I said so kind of way. He leans a hip on her lab table and awaits her answer.

"Uh why? And why would I wear one of those atrocious shirts with a bovine head splashed on it?" She countered brows crunched down ever so tightly.

She has him pinned with her eyes in way that makes him nervous. "Let me try this again. Go out with me. Please?"

"And why would I succumb to your demands?" She asked with a little lift of her chin.

He smiled before answering knowing he's about to snag her using her own words. "Because and I quote. "You can't fake attraction that real. It's a chemical impossibility."

He pushed off the table. "State Fair of Texas. It'll be fun. Trust me."

Fitz stared between them incredulously. "Wear a cap it's supposed to be sunny. Fitz, you tell Coulson or anyone else about my private life? And well, I'll tie your lower intestine in double knots with my teeth." He said dead seriously even as threat was false. He likes making Fitz squirm almost as much as he likes seeing Simmons blush.

As he walks away he hears Fitz's voice reprimanding Jemma. "Jem you cannot be serious!"

-/-/-

She meets him there at Dallas Fair Park. She's already inside having been prompt with her time unlike him. They had to arrive separately because dating within the agency is strictly prohibited. Those agents who had followed the rules have never kissed Jemma Simmons.

He's not really sure why Jemma is risking it but he'll take what he can get. He smiles as he gets closer to her. She's squatted down in front of a little boy waiting the ticket line. As he gets within ear shot he can hear her trying to explain the physics that keeps the balloon afloat in the air to the little boy who is no more than three and has no clue what she is saying and it is obvious he doesn't care what makes burnt orange balloon float.

The child's parents look positively befuddled.

"You make friends wherever you go don'tcha Jemma?" he said smiling as she moved from her kneeling position to stand.

"Human connection is of the upmost importance in the-"he cuts her off by planting a kiss on her cheek and looping an arm around her waist to put those skittish parents at ease.

"Don't science me Jemma just say yes Grant I do make friends with ease." He teased.

She dresses like he had told her. A tight fitted V-neck Longhorns shirt and dark wash shorts with SHIELD Academics ball cap. She looks young, cute even. " She's trying to kill me with those legs." He thinks to himself as he tries not to stare. He realizes she's speaking to him and he drags his eyes up to her face.

"We don't have state fairs in England. Counties maybe but nothing this big. "She smiled at him like an excited child bouncing on the balls of her feet as they move forward to buy tickets to buy food or play games and rides the rides in the midway.

He says as the line moves up. "Wait til you see Big Tex, he brings it to a whole new level."

"I thought you were from Massachusetts?" She clarified.

"Oh I am my parents are politicians so I saw a lot of the world and we came here once as a kid. I like it its fun, full of people food. I haven't been back in a while and since the timing was right and we're in the area I thought why not?"

"Makes sense." They walk in to the L- shaped fairground complex and sure enough there is Big Tex the fifty five foot tall cowboy who greets fairgoers with a friendly grin and wave to welcome them in.

"Wow. That's impressive." She said sounding a little awed.

Ward nodded in agreement with her. "Wait we're right up on him. As a kid I found it terrifying. My brother wanted to climb it."

"And our attire?"

"Today's the cotton bowl." He answered.

She looked at him blankly. "OU versus Texas. Football."

"I knew that!" She covered with a wide smile.

"I bet you did. I was serious about the field lessons today we'll practice blending in."

"I can blend." She justifies tone indignant and He doesn't stop to tell her she always stands out to him anyway.

"We'll see. What do you wanna do first?" he asked.

She took a deep breath. "What is that wonderful smell?"

"This is the south it's probably deep fried something or other." He said following after her. They set off in search of what is causing the smell. They track it to one of the many food stands.

"Give me whatever it is that smells like blueberry heaven please." Simmons says and the flowery lilt of her accent must dazzle the vendor because he pauses for a second and just looks at the bubbly brunette.

"Ah you little lady want a deep fried blue bonnet." The worker says and she takes his word for it. She nods resolutely taking the proffered food. Which turns out to be a deep fried blue berry muffin filled with cream cheese white chocolate and fresh blueberries topped with whipped cream and chocolate sauce. "This will kill me but I shall die happy."

Ward laughs from behind her as he leans in to order deep fried Siracha balls. "Oh you're going to regret that." She comments.

He shrugs. "I got a cast iron stomach."

They sit down and eat not far from the petting zoo. "Odd placement for food." He comments as they watch little kids spill out of the huge tent. Joyous shrieking fills the air around them.

"Oh my God! This so makes up for the lingering Eau De Animal." She said biting into her muffin. "Wanna try?" She offers waggling her fork in front of his mouth comically and he waves her off biting into his own food.

He chews and tries to keep his cool but it doesn't work. He coughs and steals her water bottle their fingertips brush but his mouth is too on fire to focus on anything else. "You were right." He said as he took a sip. "I thought cooking it would mellow it out."

She is holding in laughter he can see it. "Grant your ears are turning red. Here…" she scooped up some cream cheese. "Dairy neutralizes capsaicin." She feeds it to him before he can complain. "Iron stomach my arse." She joked back. She shook her head.

"If you ever tell…" he threatened clearing his stinging throat.

"Who would I tell it's not like I know any other cool specialist." She pointed out.

He concedes her point. "I just might introduce you to Romanoff. You'd like her."

She asked eating more of her muffin. "Do you have a crush on her?"

"I don't crush on people who could kill me." He deadpans.

"So I'm safe then?" She inquires.

"At least in the physical sense." He allowed.

After they eat they head into the petting zoo since its right there close. They walk in companionable for bit looking at mostly farm animals until she breaks the quiet for a question. "Why operations?"

"Why academics?" He countered.

"I asked first." She pointed out.

"Fair enough," he stuffed his hands in his pockets and rocked back on his heels. "It gave me a place to safely deposit my…issues and not hurt anyone doing it. I can protect what's mine now. I couldn't always do that." He can tell by the look on her face she wants to press it but doesn't. He likes that about her. She has patience.

She answers his question. "I have always liked puzzles, mysteries, that's what science does for me it gives me something to solve with certainty."

"And what about faith?" He asked because he wondered if someone as smart as Jemma had time for things like God and blind faith.

"I have faith…just in people mostly." She said as she squatted down to pet the baby goat baying at her feet.

"Don't even think it. Goats plus May's plane is sure to equal disaster." She pouts a second but stands again and they move on into the huge stream of people he grabs her hand pulls her close. He keeps her there at his side. He tells himself it's for her safety in the throngs of people but he knows that's not the whole truth.

They stop and they listen to music for a minute then meander through the car show and craft bazaar. They stroll aimlessly through the midway and amusement rides. They don't play any games because one or both of them know how they games are rigged.

The milk bottle toss bottles are leadened on the bottom, the shooting games guns are faulty Grant knows both things on sight.

"How can the penny toss possibly be rigged Simmons?" He asks when she mentions it. It truly looks like a difficult game of chance.

"They spray the plates with aerosol silicon so the pennies slide off the plate. If you look close it shows up filmy on the plate like hairspray." She sighed "It's rather sad actually think of all the kids they deceive."

He shakes his head, "Money is money Jem, the deceivers don't think about the deception only the end result. It's not fair but neither is life. It's best to learn it early; besides, it's the parents' money to waste if they choose to."

"I suppose you are right." She replied as they walked on. She's tucked up into his side and he wants to keep it that way.

They walk around just taking it all in and sharing a bag of kettle corn as Ward nurses a special brew of beer made for the fair. "Can I try it?" she asked her tone curious.

He hands her the bottle of Funnel Cake Ale. He tries and fails not to stare at her mouth as she takes a swig. He keenly remembers the taste of her kiss and the heat that seemed to linger between them for the rest of that night. He is curious to see if she'll let him reignite it as he gets lost in the thought her face screws up and pulls him back to the ground. "That is an abominable bottle of beer! How are you drinking it? Why?" She asked as her eyes nearly bugged out of her head. It shakes surprised laughter from him.

He grinned at her disgust. "I bought it might as well finish it."

"So you're a masochist then?" she teased.

He laughed again. "It's just beer Jemma."

She smiled at him slowly. "I like that sound."

"What?"

"You're laughter it's nice."

"I'll try to do it more often no promises though." He allowed.

"Oh no of course not." She retorted. "Wouldn't want anyone to know I might've put a dent in your tough guy façade."

"I can keep a secret if you can." He really likes innocently flirting with her. It makes him feel young

"I can't lie worth a shit but I can keep a confidence. No one will ever know Grant Ward has a pleasant laugh."

"Good wanna ride the Ferris Wheel? I think it's back that way." He points behind them thinking it might be a nice way to see the sun go down.

"I'm afraid of heights." She admits.

"Yeah? Well we will work on it I was serious about improving your in field skill set." He nods he's decided he'll make a field operative of her yet.

She smiles glancing up at him from beneath the bill of her cap. Her brown eyes she shine mercurially and it makes stomach drop in a satisfying way. "Of course you believe in dual purpose dating." She teased and he smiles back.

That night they re-board the bus and he walks her to her bunk of all places. "So was it as you remembered? The fair I mean?" She asked. She walks just a step ahead of him hands in her back pockets. It's like she's afraid of what touching him could lead too.

He's not afraid; he really wants to see where she'll take him.

"Better. There were no rules to follow or appearances to keep. I got to just be. I like spending time with you Jemma. You are interesting." He leans into her noticing her lightly sunburned cheeks and nose despite the cap.

She pats his chest a little awkwardly but hey, touching is touching. "I too enjoy your company I only hope that we don't receive censure for-"

"Jemma you're doing the rambling thing." He pointed out gently as he tipped up her chin.

"Right sorry ha-"he kisses her before she can finish the sentence.

This kiss is not faked or put on for show. It's real and it's perfect but not near enough to satisfy the quick and unexpected lust that bubbles up inside him. The kiss starts off soft and damn near innocent but again morphs into something hotter. She tastes of sugar and sunshine. He pressed her tight against her bunk door. This somehow trips a switch inside her and she breaks the kiss.

"I think- I think we should go slowly all things considered. I like you Grant I do, I'm just not a one and done girl. Oh do try not to look so disappointed I didn't say we'd never…just not on the first date. Because this was a date no matter what you choose to call them and I choose to take this thing growing between us quite seriously." She said doing the rapid fire smart girl talk thing he digs.

He pressed his lips to her forehead. "Okay Jemma, you can make me work for you. I don't mind. Like I said you spark my curiosity among other things." He said smiling and turns to leave.

And he leaves her standing there confused and properly kissed. Her soft "Goodnight Ward." Follows him out of the sleeping quarters.

AN: I own nothing Marvel related. I obviously do not own the Texas state fair. Though I do have it on good authority that the deep fried blue bonnet is in fact delicious. Thank you for all the reviews and kudos and such! Please keep reading next chapter I bring in more canonical stuff.-MM

AN 2: Llwydyn: I tried to work on the comma use sorry if I missed some.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AN: I own nothing. I flip flopped the order of episodes "The Well" mentioned in this chapter and "FZZT" mentioned in the next. Thanks for the support thus far! If you like it tell me.-MM

[](http://imgur.com/CSbXvPP)  
Dating on the bus is as difficult as one might think considering the fraternization code within SHIELD but Grant will not be denied, he pursues her with an implacable determination. Jemma finds it quite flattering but will never admit it outside the confines of her own mind.

She partly afraid if she acknowledges his pursuit it will stop. It is a shallow and girly reason to keep the man waiting but she likes being chased. The other part of her can't make sense of what he sees in her. That frightens Jemma because she always knows the answers.

She can smell his cologne moments before his arms band around her waist. "Whatcha doin?" he asked resting his chin on her shoulder.

"Working." She said.

"Take a break." he said easily spinning her around.

"I can't I really must finish my environmental analysis of the 084."

"Come on Simmons be a slacker." He pushed her googles up on to her forehead.

The crooked smile he flashes before he leans in for a kiss warms her insides and softens her resolve. "I'd love too really but I have so much back logged." He kissed her long and slowly. Clearly telling her what she's missing but she truly she must finish her job.

He released her and she automatically missed the heat he generated. "So where's Fitz?" he puts himself on a rolling stool digging in for the duration.

"He works best during the day. He's sleeping. I on the other hand prefer the quite of night." She swabs the laser like object for foreign DNA bits.

"Got it. Jemma's a night owl. I can go if you prefer." He offered moving to his feet.

"Oh no, please do stay I'm used to sharing the space as it."

He nods and retakes his seat. Occasionally he will ask her what she's doing but he mostly stays silent in a comfortable way. He's seems happy to watch her hands as she works. The intensity of his stare would have made her twitchy before this odd relationship they're in but now it provides a solace that makes her safe protected even.

"What're you thinking?" he asks and she paused. "You're making that face that you make when you haven't figured something out yet." He replies to the unasked question.

"I happen to like the way you look at me is all." She confessed quietly. She kept her eyes firmly on her work. "But to answer your question that thing I haven't figured out is you."

-/-/-

Jemma is not a morning person whatsoever. Grant is though so she wakes up extra early to spend one tiny piece of her day with him. With the addition of Skye to the team and Grant taking an interest in her professionally they had less time together.

Here she was at 5:15 in the morning wearing her Flintstones pajama pants, her hair in a messy bun. Her sleep shirt is wrinkled and she is seriously suppressing the world's largest yawn. "I need coffee." The yawn slips out. "Please."

He gives her an up down glance and a head nod toward her seat as a manner of acknowledging her presence. He cooks and she sips her coffee once he makes it.

She's a third of the way through her cup when she is awake enough to be some semblance of nice. "So I was thinking that next time off you could attend a TED TALK with me?" She asked as he sat a plate of eggs and turkey bacon before her.

He plonks down on the seat opposite her. "I would rather die than sit through that Jem."

"Come on! Please? You might learn something you could use in field." She tried again as she forked up some eggs.

"I'll watch that Steven Hawking documentary thing that's on Netflix with you." He bargained with her and Jemma knew when to take a good offer.

"Deal."

"I started the Times crossword without you." He said digging into his own plate.

"Uh! You wouldn't dare!" She complained mostly for forms sake.

"I dared and I got stuck."

"Serves you right I'd say. Hand it over let's see what we've got." He tossed it too her.

"What in the fuck is a feminine tree Jemma?"

She filled it in using one of Coulson's fountain pens and turned the paper to face him. "Hazel, it's an off shoot of the oak family and also bares a womanly name. See it fits."

"Smarty pants."

"It's what they pay me for love." She quipped with a smile.

-/-/-

Sometime later Fitz leans on the door outside the kitchen area of the bus. He listens in on argument they're having its more impassioned debate than anything close to a true fight but it entertains Fitz nonetheless not to be on the receiving end of Jemma's fervor.

"I think it's totally possible you could invent some alien based tech and bingo. People are totally chowing down on each other." Ward said.

"Ok not everyone can get their hands on Asgardian tech so really in the civilian world a zombie apocalypse is totally irrelevant Grant." Jemma countered.

"Biological aerosol agent that changes your brain function could do it."

"No. no, to completely change brain function would destroy the tissue itself." Fitz smiles at the flustered tone of her voice Ward is pushing her buttons and Fitz believes the man knows it and is reveling in it.

"Babe! Its zombie's there is no logic to zombies."

"Don't do that!" She admonished.

"Do what Jem tease you about how seriously you're taking theoretical zombie anatomy?" He retorted laughing.

"Say Babe all loud and boasting like that you will get us caught and we'll be sanctioned."

"Boasting? You're sitting in my lap Jem and you're worried over the volume I use when I say the word Babe?" Fitz can hear Ward smiling which is odd because he's not sure has ever seen Ward smile at all.

"Babe!" he said rather loudly and Fitz chooses then to step forward making the floor creak. They watch as Jemma jumps quite comically from Ward's arms and sprints across the room.

"Just nice to see the two of you progressing so well. Please retake your seat Jemma. Your secret is safe." Fitz provides moving to the coffee pot.

"Eh we gotta get started as it is." Ward got to his feet. He walked toward Jemma and he leaned down to kiss Jemma's temple. "Have a good day Babe." And he walks out leaving Jemma to stare after him longingly.

"Just sleep with him it'll make you feel better." Fitz confided catching sight of her torn expression.

She opens her mouth to chide his impropriety but promptly closes her mouth because what Fitz is saying does ring true she does want to be with Grant it's just… "What if I'm nothing more than passing fancy and put myself out there and look like a total git. I mean he could bloody well have anyone."

He fixed his coffee before answering her. "He fancies you Jemma any man would. Don't question every little thing sometimes life doesn't have an answer quantifiable with science."

-/-/-

Jemma mulls over Fitz's parting words for the remainder of her morning as she showered and dressed for the day. She decides she must simply put on her big girl knickers and just trust Grant to be who he says he is and trust his word when he says he wants her.

She is ensconced in her lab when Grant comes in. "Some Russian douche nozzle stole some unearthly thing-a-ma-jig. Wanna check it out with me? "He whispered when May passed by. "We could find a way to skulk off for a date." He said leaning to her space.

She held up a finger to emphasize her point. "One. I don't skulk. Two you had me at unearthly."

-/-/-

"I distinctly remember telling you I was afraid of heights." She complained.

"I think you can do it. It's only fifteen or so feet Jem." He hitched her into the climbing harness. "I know what it's like to be afraid. It cripples you I think you need to conquer this. I'm right here to catch you if you fall. You won't though, you got this Jem." He kissed her quickly.

She is sure her eyes get big and her expression is shocked. "Grant!"

"Coulson's got his back turned. Chill. Up you go!" He said picking her up and sitting her feet on the end of the downed tree.

"Just look straight ahead and focus on what you love to do… other than tease me." He patted her bum.

"Ward…" She warns as she started up the tree.

"Simmons…" He paused "Do you think the tree grew around the object or…"

"Grant…" she said growing impatient with him.

"Yes."

"Stop trying to use science on me. You're failing and I know you're trying to distract me into going up but I'm going so…"

"That's mean Simmons I do not fail." He pouted making her giggle.

-/-/-

She's back in her lab with Fitz as the other half of the team is trying to find the remaining pieces of what turns out to be a mythical Asgardian battle staff. Ward is pursuing the man who holds a piece of it. Jemma knows because she's following the heat signature closely with her gaze.

She hears him scream and surely as the Queen likes corgis it takes ten years off her projected life span.

-/-/-

When he returns to her for examination he's clearly agitated. Skye asked a pointed question about what exactly Grant saw when he touched the staff and fell unconscious and whether or not involved his brother.

He basically told her without mincing words to shut up.

Jemma thought she might have a better chance. "Listen Ward, I believe touching the object caused your brain to produce an overabundance of adrenaline. I simply need-"She tries to sound soothing and not worried but he cuts her off too.

"You simply need to fix me! Don't talk it to death! You're all talk no action! For someone so fucking smart Jemma you can't make a choice to save your uptight ass. Will you or won't you? God you drive me fucking insane! Fix me!" he slammed out of the room and Jemma stood blinking and frozen.

"He didn't mean that Jem." Fitz comforts.

"What in the fuck did I miss? " Skye asked lowly her ton both disturbed and curious.

-/-

After the mission is through they return to the hotel and Jemma watched Grant not watching her. It's like he refused to look at her.

After pacing the room she makes a choice and dresses accordingly.

-/-

She stands in the doorway to the bathroom. "Don't take up burglary baby. You lack stealth." He said not bothering to glance back at her.

She sighed disheartened. She watched him tilt his head back and sink lower into the tub. "Grant?" She stepped into the room.

"Yeah." He retorted.

"Look at me." She commanded and waited until he looked at her to untie and let her silk kimono robe drop away from her body.

"Damn." She heard him curse lowly.

She walked forward feeling his gaze bounce all over body. "You were only half right early. I think out my choices but once I make one it's made. May I join you?"

"Um yeah, definitely. Yes." She climbed in smiling. "I have a scientific resolution to the rage coursing through you." She twisted up her hair and held it in place while she sank into the hot water. "Would you fancy hearing it?" She asked him watching him closely.

"I ain't goin' anywhere. Enlighten me." He said thickly she's got his full attention it makes her feel beautiful and empowered in a way she could get used too.

"Sex. See oxytocin is produced during intercourse and after orgasm. Oxytocin does the exact opposite of adrenaline and is natural so you won't feel drugged like when I gave you the benzos." She explained sinking lower into the water. She runs her foot up his calf.

"Jemma…Earlier I didn't mean that. I want to be with you I do. I just want it to be what you want not some quest to follow the science because I demanded you fix Me." he said sounding tired.

"I don't often strip down and jump into a tub trying to seduce a man. You're what I want. I can't even get the whole seduction thing right! I went too brainy!" she replied mentally face palming herself.

"You got it right Jem." He grabbed her upper arms and pulls her to him. "I might not be able to be gentle." He kissed her carefully as though she might break.

"I'm not asking you too. I trust you."

He gives a slightly pained look. "You shouldn't Jemma. You really shouldn't."

"Too late." She kissed him deeply while settling herself into his lap.

She can feel him holding himself in check and all they're doing is kissing. "You need to breathe Grant." She said as they break for air and he moves on to trail open mouth kisses down her neck. His lips and the days' worth of stubble scraping along her skin leaves her insides all tingly.

"I can't." he confesses against the skin of her neck. Jemma secretly hopes his breathlessness is because of her but she knows it's because the rage has a deep hold on him. She can feel tension in his every muscle. Even the tendons that make up his abdominal muscles tense beneath her finger tips as her hand slides downward.

She knows she must get him to stop thinking. She grabs his cock in a loose hold and pulls up and twists slightly before moving back down. "What do you feel?" She asked close to his ear.

"Cheated, holy… you are not the prude I thought you were." He said airlessly.

"Between science and soaps I learned my fair share. "She smirked against his lips. "Don't worry; I'm not a virgin love. Just not as experienced as you might be." She repeats the same motion it has him grinding his back teeth. "What do you feel?" she reiterated.

"Not angry right this second." He takes her hand away from his body and raises her hand from the water to kiss her palm. "Now I'm just turned on." He gives her the dirtiest smile she ever seen and her heart stops for a fraction of time. He brackets her body tightly his own using his left arm. The other hand had been stroking the inside of her thigh moved to her center. He dipped his middle and index fingers into her body as if testing her resolve as he stroked in and out.

She let out a little whine of frustration. She tried to push down into his intruding fingers to create more friction but his hold is tight disallowing movement. He gives a deep chuckle close to her ear as he kissed along her jawline. "Don't like to be teased back huh Jem?"

"Grant…" she pled while trying not to sound needy.

He raised her up to guide her down on to him. The feeling of stretching around him is rather pleasant. Not all of Jemma's experiences have been enjoyable. Being with Grant is both different yet exactly what she'd expected. She is both safe and enticed as he set a surprisingly slow pace.

This is the closest Jemma has ever felt to Grant. He moved her hair out of her face his forehead touches hers as he rose up into her again, and again. She digs her nails into his shoulders and pushes back down; she knocks her knees on the tub sure to leave bruises behind but doesn't care as she loses herself in sensations.

He keeps his eyes on hers and she sees something in his eyes a well hidden tenderness. He almost seemed afraid of what he was feeling. She longs to soothe away the frightened expression but as the rhythm of things change to a faster, harder beat she can feel her orgasm starting to creep over her in the tightening and heated feel of her skin. All the sensations build and coalesce into one singular point driving outward as she came.

After a few thrusts he soon follows her over the edge.

As she lay slumped against him catching her breath she noticed the bruises painting his back. "Grant! Your back!"

"Doesn't hurt, I've had worse." She shrugged. "Fell off the balcony in the church."

She kissed his shoulder. "I don't see how that makes it okay. Let me tend to it." It literally caused her pain to think of what could have possibly been worse. Grant didn't mention his past and she didn't push but the fact that he's smiling at her like nothing is wrong both breaks her heart and brings her to the realization that the protectiveness she feels is definitely a kin to love, loving him is probably not more than a step or two away. She kissed him before her thoughts got too deep.

"Come let's get out of this water, there's no need to prune." He said and there is her quick witted easygoing yet deeply private boyfriend again.

It dawns on her. "You're my boyfriend!" He lifted them both from the tub.

He sat her gently on her feet. He grabbed a towel then led her to the bed room "I should hope so I waited almost four months to have sex with you Jemma. You're my girlfriend."

-/-

The next morning they lay tangled together all pretzled limbs and messy hair. The window treatments are still open. The ground floor room looks out on a misted Irish morning. She listened to the steady rush of his breathing and heartbeat.

He raised their joined hands and kissed the scar ringing her index finger. "How'd you get this Babe?" She liked when he used his American terms of love. It made her feel somehow solely and privately his.

"Oh that? A completely bollocks child's Chem set. I think I was seven? Safety approved my arse."

He chuckled. "The way you approach life all in and with total excitement makes me happy Jem." He breathed in the scent of her hair dropping a kiss on the crown of her head.

"I should start back before Coulson suspects." She sits up.

"If you must…leave the robe and take my shirt." She makes it too her feet and pulls her back down for a kiss. "Okay go."

He watched her dress with keen eyes as though memorizing her. When she's at the door he calls to her. "Jem? Thanks for finding a way to quiet the rage."

She looks over her shoulder at him lying in the mussed bed looking sleepy and happy. She longs to return to him. "My pleasure love. See you on the bus."

"See you Babe." And she let the door shut behind her and scurries off to her assigned room.

Jemma is floating on too many clouds to notice May at the ice machine.


	3. Chapter 3

[](http://imgur.com/CSbXvPP)

Simmons is certainly insinuating herself deeper and deeper into his heart. He'd hoped scratching that particular itch would relieve his attraction and curiousness regarding Jemma but that doesn't happen. Instead his infatuation becomes more consuming. He likes her and he definitely likes having sex with her. The church mouse scientist is not all that mousy between the sheets.

What she lacks in experience is more than made up for by her enthusiasm and inventiveness. She'd found places on the plane that were definitely not meant for sexual acts but that didn't stop her.

So far the only places they have stayed out of are the bunks, Coulson's quarters and May's cock pit. Mostly because Coulson their boss and May is as frightening as all seven levels of hell.

She can hear her making fun of him with Fitz. It's funny he has to admit and Skye's right the mimicry is pretty much dead on but he can't let her know that sleeping with and spending every free moment you have with person you are imitating his bound to improve your impressional skill.

He strides in "Fitzsimmons have you fixed the tranq gun?"

"You were right. Fitz left a dummy round in the night-night pistol. Should be right as rain now." Jemma said grinning up at him as he hefts the gun. He knows she's lying to him but she's doing it to save his ego for having just ribbed on him he's sure. He lets her slide because it's cute.

She waits until Skye has turned back to her SHiIELD tracked laptop to slip him a note. He hasn't been passed a note since at least Jr. High she is so innocent sometimes that he has to bite back a laugh. "Thanks." He said slipping the gun back into the holster on his chest. He pockets the note. "We have a mission."

-/-/-

When there is a scout leader floating mid-air having pulled everything with an electrical field around him to the area surrounding him and the first thing your girlfriend says is "Neat." One she might be crazy and two you should stay close.

"It seems though the electrostatic left remain in the air is keeping him afloat. She stepped forward to examine the body a rather wide arc of blue electricity shocks her. He instinctively yanks Jemma back against his chest. "Are you okay?" he tries to sound appropriately gruff all the while hoping no one noticed just how long his hand lingered on her hip.

"I'm fine, fine, just gave me a jolt is all. Thank you for the concern Ward." Right he needed to let her go.

She and Fitz turn to each other with glee in their eyes. "Freaky." They echo in unison at the body now on the ground.

-/-

Nothing has even come close to the feeling of dread caused by seeing Thomas at the bottom of that well until this very second that is a time clock has been put on Jemma's life.

Two hours Jemma has two measly hours to save her own skin. Because if she fell to the alien virus set to make her brain literally explode with electricity well… it really didn't really bare thinking about in his book.

He can't stand there at her lab door with his helpless expression and not expect someone to find them out. He goes to the observation room and watches her working. Willing her to find a solution with the power of his thoughts. "Come on baby…" he muttered as he chewed his thumbnail nervously.

"I knew it! I knew you two were screwing! Fitz denied it but I knew!" Skye's exclamation makes him jump he realizes he might be more rattled the he originally surmised.

"It's not- I- It's more than that." He sputtered.

"Look at you using you words!" She teased and really he doesn't have the patience for it today.

"Skye…" He warned crossing his arms.

"Right sorry, we're not letting her die right because I vote no."

He shook his head glancing his feet before looking back up at Skye "If the smartest person on this plane much less the smart person I have ever or likely will ever know can't save herself we may have no other choice and she knows it."

"What do we do if-"She starts to ask and he cuts her off.

"Don't make me answer that, just know we'll do what if we're called to do."

The sound of Fitz and Jemma arguing draws their attention. "They're wasting time. Valuable time."

"They're facing losing each other Grant I think fighting feels easier than goodbye." Skye confides.

They watch has Fitz races by with the biohazard container. "What are you doing? The last thing she needs is another shot at that toxin." Ward said following behind Fitz.

"Actually it's a virus love." Jemma said through his comm.

"Whatever Jem!" he muttered back.

-/-/=

As they work on an inoculation for the virus Grant can't watch he stands with his back turned all of the memories and things he's not ready to lose flooding his mind cause a migraine to pulse behind his eyes.

The way a blush creeps into her cheeks whenever he takes their veiled flirting one step to far for her comfort. The way it feels to wake up next to someone and know they won't leave or use his love against him.

Watching her finish the crossword or cheat him out of scrabble games. Even the British movies she makes him watch which are all boring and depressing as fuck.

He doesn't want to give up secretly kissing her goodnight or loving her at all. Because he does really love her. Isn't this the worst time to come to that revelation?"

He turns around with every intention of telling her loves her and to just keep trying for them. Or for him. As he turns she is injecting the last rat with the antiserum.

It fails and their hearts collectively drop. She says that she knows the protocol for these things but would Coulson mind very much telling her father first. It would be easier on her mother that way. And even though Grant hated his mother he knows with heart wrenching certainty that Jemma would be a great mother simply from the care she'd shown her own in what would likely be her final minutes.

She asks for a moment alone with Fitz and they all acquiesce as she'd say. "Grant." She whispers as he mounts the very first step last in the line.

He turns and steps up to the glass lab door dividing them. "Grind your back molars like when you're about to… never mind. Just grind your teeth it will disable the comm for five minutes it's a loophole in the tech Fitz has yet to fix." She said in a breathless rush.

"Jem we don't have time for this you gotta keep trying." He pleads trying hard not to let his desperation show.

She shook her head resolutely. "We both know there is no reason to try love. Now do the gnashing thing so I can say my peace."

If he does as she asks with tears misting his eyes it's not as if his secret will get out.

He gives him a smile watered down by her sickness and sorrow but he'll take it. "Do you remember our first date the real one not the op? You remember how said I was that we could cherry pick all the magic out of the midway?" She shook her head again and voice shakes for a moment as she continues." I was wrong, I just didn't know it, and I went home with the magic."

She laughs a little before tears fill her eyes and snake down her cheeks. "You have taught me more about myself than any teacher I've ever had. You taught me how to lead with my heart and I will always be grateful for it. Because no matter how deeply you hide from it you have a good heart Grant Ward. Even it was an only for a nano second I'm glad you were mine. I love you. "The words hit him but not in an unpleasant way.

"Now hurry back you have thirty seconds." She commands.

"Jem." He started to return the words or tell her to keep working at the problem but she cuts him off.

He can't deny her that privacy parts of her are his and parts of her belong solely to Leo Fitz "Go on now get. I need to tell Fitzy goodbye."

He returns to the observation screen to find the others staring at him. 'What." He barks.

No one responds. Then after a moment or two the cargo ramp alarms sounds. "No fucking way! She's afraid of heights!" he runs after her cursing the entire way.

He takes the injector and para-pack from Fitz swings it on and bails off after her.

/-/-

After they have been retrieved and debriefed they are free to return to quarters. He hasn't said two words to her since her confession. He's too angry at her for being so rash.

"I don't get why you are mad at me I mean I only did the thing that was over all best for the team!" she whispered.

"OH screw the fucking team!" he explodes at her. What about him! What he felt! She almost left him too.

"There's no need to shout at me like a loon Grant the virus did not affect my hearing!" She screeches back with a dark glare.

He laughs he just can't help it. "Oh I'm the crazy one that's rich you're the fucking nut ball who threw herself out of a goddamn plane and you are afraid of heights! You couldn't even ride the Ferris wheel on our first date! But hey let me drop my ass out of a fucking plane before my boyfriend can say I love you too!" he rails at her and she seems a little shocked before absorbing things and giving a retort.

"Do you feel better love?" She quips and damn it does he love her because his anger just dissolves on the spot.

He gives a chagrined laugh. "You're so damn crazy. But yes I do. I didn't mean for it to come out like that."

As they both finally pause for breath in the midst of their tiff they suddenly realize the plane is utterly and completely silent.

"Shit!" Ward cursed.

"Yes quite succinct. Though let the record show I was not the one who slipped."

He rolls his eyes but replies. "Noted Babe. We may as well report to Coulson."

Coulson appears above them on the stairs as if he were just awaiting his cue. "No need. I knew, you both seem to maintain professional distance so I don't think I will need to call you on Reg violations."

"How did you know Sir?" Jemma asked.

"Your lipstick tends to stain his collar. I like to do laundry when I can't sleep."

"Oh…"

-/-

Grant slips into Jemma's bunk late that night. "I thought I'd have to subdue Fitz to get access to you. It didn't seem fair since you knocked him out once already today. I had Skye flirt with him." He stands a little awkwardly at the foot of her decidedly feminine bed. They have never shared this space.

"I'm fine Grant." She said laying a book on biochemical manipulation aside on the night stand. Next to the book is a picture of them taken in one of those cheesy photo booths from some random mall they had stopped off at. They are squished together and smiling happily. It makes him smile in return.

He returns his gaze to her. "You tried closing your eyes yet?" She just sighed. "That's what I thought. Scoot over." She does and he crawls in beside her.

She curls up against him laying her head on his chest "He likes her, I can just tell. She'd be good for him. She's edgy and fun and smart but not in a way that makes me feel replaced." She said referring to Fitz and Skye.

"Meaning she's not as smart as you." He smiled at her perfectly justified expression. "You scared me today." He confessed dropping a kiss on top of her head.

She cast her eyes up at him worry clear on her face. "That wasn't my desired result Grant. I'm sorry."

"I know I just haven't been that frightened in years." He confessed looking at the pictures on her walls, her parents, Fitz, her dog that must no live with her folks. He plays with her and takes in their silent communication. Jemma is okay being quiet he loves that.

Most times she is okay with the quiet most times. "When they sent you and Fitz into that OP with no way out and I was basically helpless it was the worst feeling because…"

"Because your brain couldn't get us out of a tight spot?" he asked.

"Yes and no. I knew that Fitz knows I love him and didn't know if you did." She paused chewing her bottom lip as she thought out her words. It made him want to kiss her and he realized for the first time today that hadn't kissed her since the night before. "And I wanted you to know that you're worth loving even those things you keep hidden. I even love your secrets."

Those big brown trusting eyes look up at him and his heart aches. "I'm not sure how I got that lucky."

She rolls over on to her stomach propped up on her arms to look him over. "It's not luck… I used to think love was just chemicals but after today I… Well trying to do the right thing was hard not because I was afraid of dying but because I had something to miss. This team, you my Leo. I'm not sure what any of it means I don't have the answer this time but I do know it's not luck and what I did was-"

He tilted her face up and kissed her. "What you did was brave Jemma. Are you still afraid of heights?" he teased against her smiling lips.

She backs off to glower at him. "Oh bugger off." She grumbled.

He changes the subject before things get to heavy. "I'd really rather not. What was your note about? The one in my pocket?"

She grins up him like a kid in candy store and his heart jumps. "Oh that I was inquiring on whether or not you'd fancy shag in the SUV again?"

"Leather seats are cold." He shrugs. "We've yet to do anything in the bunks." He hints and she blushes.

He kisses her soft and slow as he'd wanted to do all day. He nudged her so she lay on her back beneath him. He takes his time undressing her, touching her, kissing her. He is in no rush what so ever.

He intends to draw this out leaving her so exhausted she'll have no choice but to dreamlessly sleep. When he settles himself in the cradle of her hips and sinks his way home he relishes the quiet little gasp she always emits and the way her body rises up languidly to meet his own.

As she's kissing the line of his shoulder and sighing his name barely above a whisper in time with gentle tempo of their bodies. It dawns on him how close he'd come to losing her today. It causes a lump of tears to rise in his throat and feelings he can't process to land on his chest.

He hides his face in the crook of her neck hoping she'll mistake the tears for sweat. "I love you Jemma." He said the words as he originally planned honest and plain.

She doesn't reply instead settles on kissing whatever part of him she can reach. Chest, neck, shoulders, face. He receives the message. She loves him back .

Grant ward has never loved anyone. Not one person. Only Jemma and his old friend Buddy. Garret t doesn't believe in attachments or love if he ever finds out that Grant loves Jemma it may well spell his end.

AN: I own nothing thanks a ton for all the support! I love this little section of fandom so much! Send me your thoughts and or kudos if you feel up too it!-MM


	4. Chapter 4

[](http://imgur.com/CSbXvPP)

AN: I own nothing please read to the end.

When Garrett shows up on their plane to take back Ian Quinn Ward's stomach drops. It's not that he and Jemma are affectionate during their work but they've definitely stopped hiding and he can't very well tell Jemma his SO is a sadistic jealous fucker who will use her against without telling her why he'd do so.

He can't stop Jemma from being herself but in this instance if it'd keep their relationship safe he would if he could.

He keeps his distance from her and it easy enough she's tending to Skye who's fighting to stay alive.

He scuffles with Triplett and keeps Garrett entertained. Every now and then he sweeps by the lab and watches Fitz and Simmons work pouring over files and talking over one another.

Jemma works and guards over Skye like a pit bull mother hen hybrid. It doesn't surprise him but still it's cute.

He thinks they have flown under the radar and their relationship will go unnoticed but Jemma blows those chances clean out of the proverbial water.

"Grant! Agent Coulson! May! I found it we- Fitz and I we found the place we believe-"She skids to a halt mid excited shouting bout and stares at Grant. "What happened to your face love? Who did this?" she eyes the scrape along his temple. "Sit! You need tending too." She shoves him into his seat with ease because well he let her.

"It's just a pissing match Jem. Trip barely caught me. Now what did you find?" He redirected her easily enough but Garrett caught the "love" tacked on to the end of Jemma's concerns. Grant can practically feel Garrett's gears turning, possibly grinding to a halt.

"Oh yes, sorry. We found a collapsed SHIELD bunker we believe was used to do Coulson's medical procedures we found a digital map in some of the cube's redacted files. Fitz had a contact in the Triskellion. In short we found hope for Skye." She grins brightly then turns toward him with her "long suffering yet patient girlfriend." Tone. "Now Agent Ward if you will so kindly follow me to the med bay I will treat that cut."

"It's a scratch!" he justifies.

"Yes, Well you're the one who seems determined to require my med tech skills on the daily. I'll be the judge of what is and what a scratch isn't until you get your very own Med Tech Certification. Is that amenable to you Grant?" he tone is more clipped now. He needs to tread lighter.

He doesn't reply he just follows her orders.

-/-/-/-

He can feel Garrett watching them but it's too far gone to matter now. When he is with Jemma he's not an agent of anything. He's just Grant. He knows it shows too. He's a good liar and he should lie his ass off now but Jemma's the one thing he can't lie about. The love runs too deep to be hidden by any deception or deflection. His eyes flutter closed as she swabs his temple with an antiseptic gel.

"I really do wish you would think before punching. You're far too attractive for these abrasions." She said fretfully.

"I won said pissing match so it's worth it." He joked grinning up at her. He tried to charm the wrinkles from her brow but it doesn't work. She just sighed.

"Barbaric Sado-masochistic." Her wordy insult is half assed at best.

"I don't have a wordy come back how's Skye?"

He knows she's going to yammer. She's stressed. He lets it slide for a bit. "Hanging on, I don't even understand half of what's in that file and anything even close to helpful is a mystery drug I've never even heard of. For it to have the properties to replicate and regenerate cells as it did for Coulson's heart it has to be similar to stem cells but stem cell can't be produced synthetically merely harvested!"

"Jem Baby, you're doing the spinning talk thing I don't understand just tell me what you need me to find and I will find it." He said gentle as applied derma bond to his cut.

"The GH-325. I need that if they're no doctors I need the drug at least… Just tell Fitzy to stay away from the dodgy looking stuff okay? He doesn't always read before grabbing and-"He glances out the door Trip has Garrett distracted bless his pompous heart. He lands a quick kiss on Jemma's mouth and seeing as she's finished her patching and hen pecking he gets up to join the others.

"I'll read before I get grabby. Scouts honor Babe." And he leaves before she can pepper him with more demands or scientific jargon.

-/-/-/-

He watches Grant with his little chippie as she trails behind him. She's talking to him a mile a minute even as Grant is gearing up to go. He can tell the boy is listening to her even if it's only with half an ear. She turns to the Scottish engineer and talks at him a bit.

The slow smile that creeps across Grant's face is hard to miss and is entirely genuine. "We got it Jem; only grab what looks semi- safe." Grant soothes her ruffled feathers. He puts a comforting hand between her shoulders for half a beat. His hands don't linger because He knows he's being watched. His eyes however cling to her.

He always knew Ward was a gentle touch with more tender heart than he'd ever admit. John knew Grant was most likely of all his recruits to fall in love. Maybe they can use her. Girl has brains to spare even more than Flowers.

It's not like the girl isn't nice to look at in a porcelain doll prim and proper British sort of way. She's not Garrett's speed but she's pretty so whatever blows Ward's skirt up is fine as long as it benefits John himself or Hydra.

And if it doesn't well bye, bye, English Sweet Pea.

This time he'll make the boy man up and cross off his weakness for himself too.

-/-/-/-

With Skye healed and Hydra revealed Grant knows he may have very little time with Jemma but still he boards the flight with Garrett to the Fridge. If the fact that he kisses her goodbye for real right there in front God and everybody alerts her to something being well and truly amiss he doesn't see it or sense it.

She simply says "Call if you need me. I'll be seeing you love." She gives him a soft halfhearted smile like she must sense his pain. It makes him feel like what he is a dirty liar.

"I'm gonna be fine Jem. See you." He wraps her in a hug. He taps out the Morse code of "I love you" against her spine in a secret way of knowing he said it if only for himself and of course she picks up on it. "And I love you." She replied quietly. She pressed a quick kiss into his neck and let him go.

-/-/-

When she calls him frantic because Skye had taken her badge and erased their identities at Coulson's behest he forgets that Garrett is right behind him sitting his stupid ass barber chair listening. He's too intent on calming her down before she strokes out.

"Jem- Jemma Je- Baby you're not a terrorist. Listen to me. I know, Jemma honey no matter what was or wasn't erased you still earned everything you're still the smartest girl I've ever met. Those PhD's are just paper. I'll get you a new badge babe. I know you liked that one." He laughs a little he can't help she is beside herself and it is oddly endearing much like everything else about Jemma.

"Ugh no whatever I'll be it's not gonna be Tom Brady you know I hate that bobble headed fucker. I know it makes me sound like a tosser I don't care. Teacher might not be bad true… I'd get shot less. I know not playing doctor would sadden you though. Alright be safe, I'm almost done we're taking the long way love you Bye." He hangs up with a smile on his face.

Garrett takes it upon himself to dampen his good mood and erase said smile. "You should end that before things get messy. I mean I get that she's pretty in a delicate sort of way and the heart wants what it wants right but eventually you're going to have to think with your brain and not your libido. You won't be able to turn her and what isn't useful to Hydra is just a weakness."

"How about you stay out of it. I'll handle things with Simmons my way." He said tightly.

"Oh now it's Simmons?" Five seconds ago she was Jemma." Garrett jabs at him.

He just sighed and walked away before he said too much.

"So something in the mission was real huh? Her." A voice comes from behind him.

"My girlfriend is even less your business than Garrett's Raina." He just keeps walking. He has no idea where the fuck he's going

-/-/-

After trudging through the Canadian snow he finds Providence base and is greeted by Skye and Jemma. Jemma runs up and jumps into his arms for a hug. "When we heard the Fridge fell I couldn't breathe." She said the words muffled in his parka.

"Neither can I Jem… I broke a rib or two." He replies and tries not sound strained.

"Oh how completely stupid of me…" She slides her body down his landing gently on the ground. He forgot how much he missed the sensation of her body on his. Even it was just a few days. "I'm sorry Darling; I think your cheek bone is broken. I kill him from breaking your lovely cheek bones. I'll examine and clean you up. Skye take his pack." He smiles at her fierce expression.

"Anyone ever tell you that you're bossy Simmons?" Skye muttered hefting his pack.

"Rubbish Skye I just know what needs doing." Jemma retorted airily.

Grant laughs he can't help it he will miss this. "I love you Jem. Always."

"I know that." She replied firm in the knowledge of at least that truth. It made him feel marginally better.

"Good."

-/-/-/-

He watches her as she works. He watches her hands and the competency of movements as she sets out her kits and supplies. The way her eyes narrow as she inspects the X-ray of his face.

"Bollocks it's only a hairline not much I do. Does it hurt quite a lot?" She asked chewing lip yet again. He loved that.

"Nope."

"I'll stitch you up and wrap those ribs. The cut might leave a scar but it'll add some ruggedness to your face."

"You'd like me rugged?" He brushes her falling bangs away from her face tucking them behind her ear.

"I'd like you in any form." She grins and "I love you." He thinks but stays quiet.

He tries to memorize the feel of her hands on him. Confident yet gentle. He tries to take in every tiny expression on her face as she focuses on fixing him. He breathes in the scent of her shampoo as her head is bowed to carefully wrap his ribs.

He kissed the crown of her head. "No matter what happens, you have always seen the true me Jem. Thank you for trusting the pieces of me that I could give you."

"Grant…" She replied and when she looks into his eyes he sees the worry. For half a second he considers telling her the truth. Lying has always come easier and he wants her to remember the realness of what they had when it's over. Because once it's out it will be over all of it.

"Sorry baby Garrett being Hydra has just made me think things over. I get maudlin." He said and he can tell she doesn't exactly buy it.

He pulled her into the gap of his thighs and leaned forward to kiss her. "Grant you'll be late to debrief." She says even as she's kissing back.

"Coulson can wait…" He said against her lips before kissing her again and pulling her on to the table with him.

"Someone could walk in."

"They'll walk back out." She giggles. "Besides we both know you like doing it on exam tables." He moved to kiss the soft expanse of her neck.

"If you ever-"she threatens as he is hiking up her skirt.

"Jem." He warns.

"Shutting up."

-/-/-

The thing about being with Jemma is he knows Jemma will be the one to figure out that he killed Koenig and took Skye against her will to unlock the drive. He just knows how her mind works. It's not something he likes her knowing but life is all about the choices you make and it's too late to turn back now.

-/-/-

He misses her. Really misses her, and not just the feel of her lying against him in the night. He missed the way her goodnight kiss always tasted of Carmex because the recycled plane air chapped her lips. The way she spoke faster and faster the angrier she got. He misses her so much and so often he thinks she's there with him when she's not actually there and he makes himself believe reality until he sees her ponytail fluttering in the wind a few yards away. He has to double check. He steals the binocs off a low level agent and sure enough she's on a phone.

It's possibly Coulson she's talking too but he doesn't really care. How hard up do you have to be to trust spying to Fitz and Jem? Fitz is rash and Jem is too damned honest for her own good.

He catches Fitz leaving for their car. "You're getting better with the stealth babe but your hair tipped me off." She makes a choked sound that steals away his own breath.

"Ward." She said and he can see anger and fear fighting to take over her gaze.

"I won't hurt you; you do have to come with me though. You know that right?"

Neither of them say anything just follow along behind him obediently. It's a little unnerving honestly.

He presents them to Garrett and the way he leers at Jemma makes Grant's guts twist. Grant searches them and Fitz sets off a little metal party buzzer it causes the electronics on the plane and the ones in Garrett to short out. "EMP and I'm not sorry." Fitz says and Grant wants to punch him out if only because He'd likely signed his own death warrant.

He sends them out to be sequestered in their lab ironically. If he can fix this he can undoubtedly get Fitzsimmons out of their bravely dug little hole.

He has to think of them as a unit now because if he thinks about Jemma it makes his heart pinch in a way that makes him think a heart attack is in his near future.

Every little trick he's learned to reset Garrett over the years has failed and when the older man looks at him with death in his eyes and asks him to cross off Fitz and Simmons his heart breaks into little pieces for the first time in years. "No, now is not the time I can fix this I just-"

"I'm dying and I want my murders crossed off." He paused. "It's not a weakness is it?" it was a dare as much as a command.

"I guess we'll find out." He muttered.

-/-/-

When they lock themselves in the med pod to get away from him she doesn't try to talk him down maybe she's done with him? Good for her maybe it will make what he is about to do easier on him. Doubtful. It's not every day you're ordered to kill the love of your life.

As he turns to the release controls she finally says something. "Grant don't do this! You are not the boy who had to fight for every bit of peace he had. You're not him anymore. You owe Garrett nothing. He did nothing but use you for a lap dog! I know you love me, you have said it too many times and in too many ways for it to be a lie. I know that I make you happy we can work thing out just think things out please Grant! You love me!" each and every word hits him like an anvil to the chest especially "You love me." Because God knows he does but if he doesn't do this Garrett will and it will be bloody and painful and he'll make Grant watch he's that twisted. With any luck, if small mercies still existed for either of them she'll be dead before she hits water.

"That's the problem Jemma. You're a weakness no one taught me to fight." He pulled the lever. Closed his eyes and tried and failed to block out the sound of her screaming his name before she fell. It's likely God ran out of mercy to waste on Grant Ward.

This time he doesn't catch her. He can't begin to try.

-/-/-/-

He's been in Coulson's make shift prison for a couple months at least. He does what he needs to survive because giving in and trying to die is just boring. He feels nothing at all. Following that last order stole whatever remained of his soul.

The door opens and he's expecting Skye because they send her down to poke at him with questions he refuses to answer.

It's not Skye.

She's alive.

"Jemma." He inches as close to the line as he can without activating the pointless force field. "You're real." Her heels click on the concrete as she gets closer to him.

Her eyes fill with tears and she sinks to the floor. She's sobbing so hard for the first time in months he feels something. Guilt.

"Jemma Just breathe…" he coached squatting down to sit back on his heels next to her on the floor.

"Grant…" his name comes out on a sob that tears at the place in him that used feel human.

He still loves her. Weakness or not he loves her. "Take your time Babe."

AN: please don't hate me for making Ward Hydra again, I have a plan I promise keep reading. Part three coming soon to a wi-fi enabled device owned or operated by you. Thanks a ton for all the reviews, kudos, and reblogs! I loved all the support! Thanks so much!-MM


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